December 30, 2010

Hyderabadi notions of distance and other things

Note to A: Leave Baudrillard at home only. Also his playmates.

Myth: Bas us gali mein hain (said without accompanying bhava or gesticulation)
Reality: There are many galis. Especially in the Old City, where it is possible to simultaneously insert two fingers of the same hand into two galis.

Myth: Oh, Punjagutta/ Hitech City/ Nampally is five minutes away.
Reality: Oh, I'm talking about helicopter travel. Otherwise it's 24, 4782949 light years away, if you get the MMTS train on time...

Myth: The MMTS train is just outside the station.
Reality: The MMTS train will come to the station in ten minutes.

Myth: Hussain 'sagar'.
Reality: Speedboat covers Sagar in a minute.

Myth: Bas baju mein hain.
Reality: 'Baju' paanch km lamba hain.

Myth: Bas chauraste pe milti.
Reality: A chaurasta, ideally, is a junction where four roads meet. Not an assemblage of four streets in different directions that you will pass on your way to the imagined chaurasta.

Myth: Famous Icecream kahan hain?
Reality: Scopes icecream khaon. Bahut Famous hain.

And my favourite one of the day.
Famous Icecream kahan hain?
Yahan fridge mein hain.

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