September 02, 2010

Radha on pot

I have never broken pots in my life, but this year, I am finally open to breaking a leg. Anyway, my on-the-ground stability, or the lack of it, doesn’t count for much. I have been dwelling on the pot. Or the pots, since Bombay is a city of pluralisms. Today, my ears were assailed by five different types of Govinda music within the hour and for all the peeking out while trying not to fall out the third floor window of low-ventilation high AC fancy business centre where I work, I couldn’t see a handi.

Since that moment of suspension close to the slats of a window, I have been wondering what my handi CV looks like. I have never broken a pot. Yes, I once experimentally broke a kulhar, but I felt quite bad about it later. One needs to be emotionally detached from the pot. I didn’t even eat dahi until recently, so I was always quite disgusted when the person at the top breaks the handi to have the dahi go all over. Sure, my hair might benefit from the conditioning. Now I eat curd, so that problem is solved. My question is, can I have mishti doi instead? (Krishna could be fussy, why can’t I?)

Questions for employers

I have banged many pots, does that count? I have broken many mugs and priceless utensils. I even hold the proud distinction of having broken a sealed thermos full of hot water without spilling a shard of glass. Now, that is downright impressive.

What about insurance schemes and provident fund benefits? What if the pyramid under me collapses and I am left swaying from the rope? What will I do if the curd goes sour? Die of hunger? And worse still, die a bitter woman? Will a golden parachute erupt from the handi and float me down to safety and perfect curds? What is the perfect fist needed to break the handi? Are the pots glued together with Fevicol? Will they respond to soft caresses or do I need to jam my fist in? Thumb in or thumb out?

Can I pick my own songs please? Most DJs have terrible taste in music.

PS: In response to Ipsitaa, I can scream (and how, ask my parents for recos), randomly also, can dance anywhere (no I'm not telling you where I normally dance), and I love water. Red water is even more turning on. So HR peeps, when do you come calling?

12 comments:

first thoughts said...

they have an HR department and will have to groom you first kid. Being fussy is fine but you should also have the ability to scream at crowds randomly in a chorus at the right time and right pitch ofcourse. Then you would be required to be drenched in gulal water all day long and you should have the capacity to survive it. Also to dance to blaring music in 1 sq ft space. After all that final test is to make a pyramid and break the handi whch is never broken

Anonymous said...

well... correct me if I'm wrong, the pot contains malai, not curd.
I think you need to acknowledge the kind and gentle soul who introduced you to the delicate taste of dahi.

Ranjana said...

haww that's cheating! manjari, to manjari i give it all!

Ranjana said...

but i don't know whether she is kind and gentle...

Anonymous said...

Well child, depends on your POV... From the bird's eye view everything looks gentle and small,
Including Manjari Kaul.

ks rajendran said...

in south india, the pot contains coins! and the pole is slippery - due to oil applied for days b4 the krishna jayanthi. it is known as URIYADI. In my school final days i 've attempted to break the pot. the girls in the audience are the gopis instigating/teasing the young males/adolescents to take up the challenge and i also a few won the hearts of gopis.i was not that fortunate though1!

Ranjana said...

who's the bird? ;)

Ranjana said...

pots contain money sometimes, but only one or two rupee notes! which is sad! coins...that could injure someone now! from jallikattu to this, rough games you'll play!

Samantha said...

Happy Janmashtami! Get to the top of that pyramid!

Ranjana said...

thanks samantha :)

Anonymous said...

Now, now. This a public forum!!

Ranjana said...

:D