I have never broken pots in my life, but this year, I am finally open to breaking a leg. Anyway, my on-the-ground stability, or the lack of it, doesn’t count for much. I have been dwelling on the pot. Or the pots, since Bombay is a city of pluralisms. Today, my ears were assailed by five different types of Govinda music within the hour and for all the peeking out while trying not to fall out the third floor window of low-ventilation high AC fancy business centre where I work, I couldn’t see a handi.
Since that moment of suspension close to the slats of a window, I have been wondering what my handi CV looks like. I have never broken a pot. Yes, I once experimentally broke a kulhar, but I felt quite bad about it later. One needs to be emotionally detached from the pot. I didn’t even eat dahi until recently, so I was always quite disgusted when the person at the top breaks the handi to have the dahi go all over. Sure, my hair might benefit from the conditioning. Now I eat curd, so that problem is solved. My question is, can I have mishti doi instead? (Krishna could be fussy, why can’t I?)
Questions for employers
I have banged many pots, does that count? I have broken many mugs and priceless utensils. I even hold the proud distinction of having broken a sealed thermos full of hot water without spilling a shard of glass. Now, that is downright impressive.
What about insurance schemes and provident fund benefits? What if the pyramid under me collapses and I am left swaying from the rope? What will I do if the curd goes sour? Die of hunger? And worse still, die a bitter woman? Will a golden parachute erupt from the handi and float me down to safety and perfect curds? What is the perfect fist needed to break the handi? Are the pots glued together with Fevicol? Will they respond to soft caresses or do I need to jam my fist in? Thumb in or thumb out?
Can I pick my own songs please? Most DJs have terrible taste in music.
PS: In response to Ipsitaa, I can scream (and how, ask my parents for recos), randomly also, can dance anywhere (no I'm not telling you where I normally dance), and I love water. Red water is even more turning on. So HR peeps, when do you come calling?