March 04, 2008

Overdosing on...

5.40 PM
Me: I've been eating through the day. I'm feeling...pregnant!
Mum: (shock in her eyes and voice, impending doom gliding down her face) What? Pregnant? Did you have intercourse with someone?
Me: Erm, no! I'm just hungry. I'm craving for sweet and sour things, in that order.
Mum: (Still very serious) You are sure you're not pregnant? You didn't even sit...(wonders how to continue) nexttoaboywithoutyourclotheson,didyou? (all is out in a gush) Sperms can be motile, you know.
Me: (voice of longing) I haven't even been kissed (neither properly nor improperly, may i add...)yet and you talk of intercourse?!

And so it went on.

11.20 PM
Since then, I have managed to convince mother dearest that I'm still a virgin. But my binge today continues to pique me.

10.00 AM - Breakfast: Three dosas with butter and coffee
12.30 PM - Lunch: Pulao and gravy vegetable
15.00 PM - Samosa
16.15 PM - Two biscuits
17.00 PM - Two papads and coffee
18.00 PM - Dosa
19.00 PM - Chocolate
21.00 PM - Kadhi, fried potatoes and potato chips
23.30 PM - Horlicks

Wow! Can I actually hold all that goop in my seemingly tiny stomach?