November 29, 2006

The man-eateries of Virar: A forced one-night stand with DEATH.

The Virar idiots who used to jump into trains before people get off them always irritated me. No offence to all the nice Virar people, and yes, the 'nice' people breed also exists, but this group of Virar idiots took the cake with their levels of unruliness.

Living at Andheri, it is unfortunate that we are expected to take slow trains if we choose to complain about the crowds that manhandle us every day. The Virar fast I took today left Marine Lines at 5.22 pm. It was quite peaceful all the way till Andheri station.

Whe the train careened into the station out here at Andheri, a few metres away from the place where the first-class ladies's halts, this woman on the platform screamed at me to get out of the train. I told her - Wait, let it stop. Paying no heed to my words, she kicked me out, like KICKED me, and I fell on this group of ladies, who promptly moved aside, let me fall and then stepped over me and got into the train. No one made any attempt to help me up, despite the fact that my legs were in a precarious position under the train and I could have lost my legs and probably my life. All they said was an absolutely inhuman - Chalo hato, train me chadhna hain.

When dance means so much to you and you can see your legs and your life getting stubbed out in a matter of seconds. It was not very funny to be stuck with people WALKING AND RUNNING OVER YOU just to reach their fcuking homes to cook fcuking dal and rice for their families. While struggling to move myself away from the train, I could see my bleak future flashing like this presentation gone crazy. Thanks to someone's grace or whatever you would call it, I managed to get away from the train. I recovered enough to scream. I screamed at every single woman in the train. I spotted the shit-eating false-pouty red lip-sticked and lipsticked sindoor woman standing comfortably in the train and yelled at her as if my life depended on it. The bitch had the gall to say - Who me? Like bloody bitch, you almost murdered me and then you say - Who me? Wow! You put Osama to shame! He atleast acknowledges that he is responsible for his wrongdoings.

I called her a lot of unprintable things that will cause the spellcheckers at Blogger to blush and that stirred up the whole platform and made all the women think I was one of those shameless firang-import hussies. Not that I care.

I have a lot of plans for her, like taking my camera and going to the station and capturing her live, doing those things to other people. But how far will they help?

I met the station superintendent to apprise him of this ugly incident. He told me not to get into fast trains, albeit very politely. He directed me to the police station, where the inspector wistfully told me about a policy at Dadar station where such unworthy passengers were pushed behind with lathis. This received a lot of bad publicity. I tried my best to assure him that most of the women from Virar needed exactly this kind of treatment to bring them back to their senses. This inspector also tried to hint that we Andheri women were no less unruly during the peak hours in the morning. Yes, we yell at people who block the doors ( and this is something that Virar women do quite if they own the train since it comes from that pokey little village they live in) and also when they don't get off fast enough, but we never rush in before the last person to alight has both her feet on the ground. Afterwards, we push and jostle, but that is all among fellow Andheri-ites, and it rarely happens that someone who wanted to get off at Andheri cannot do so because they were not allowed to.

We praise Bombay to the skies for its humanity. Today, I discovered trhe wonderful sense of humanity that lets you walk over a person just to catch a frigging train, which is not the last train home. As if taking that one train late, a difference of five minutes, will permanently make or mar your future. Even though there's such a big discount if you miss one train. Your profit is one human life.


Mohan Kumar D said...

Nice articles. I hate to travel especially in local trains.
Crowded trains are full of garbage, dirty. I don't know how people are travelling in crowded, conjested trains. It is the life line for the people.

Ranjana said...

well i hate it too, but often one has no choice when it comes to travelling. trains are the only way if you're looking to go to the other end of the city!